After Big Sur the highway headed more inland. I had no idea where to sleep. It was 4:30pm and dusk was rapidly approaching.
On a previous internet search I had come across a website called Boondockers Welcome. Boondocking refers to parking your RV somewhere and sleeping in it without having to pay anything. Boondocking frequently happens at rest stops, truck stops, Walmart parking lots, BLM land (Bureau of Land Management forests where you can camp for free if you can find an appropriate spot that fulfills their requirements), National Forests, and sometimes sidestreets if there’s a spot where an RV can park unobtrusively. The website, which is quite brilliant, is similar to couch surfing, except it involves RV boondocker people saying ‘hey, I live in this city and you can come park and sleep in my driveway.’ Unfortunately, in order to post a reply, you must sign up and pay a yearly fee (everyone’s got to make money I guess).
I had bookmarked the site, so, on a whim and starting to get desperate, started scrolling through the map. There was someone listed at a town nearby, and when I clicked on his profile, I discovered that...he had posted his phone number! Jerry Sanger, in Arroso Grande. Well, what did I have to lose? Using a coffee shop’s wifi and an internet free phone app, I called the number. After 2 rings, a voice said “Jerry Sanger”.
“Uh, hi Jerry…I saw your number on the boondocker’s website. I’m on a road trip, sleeping in a camperized van, and I have no place to sleep tonight. I’m currently in Morro Bay, a half hour north of you. Do you think it would be possible for me to park and sleep in your driveway tonight?”
Well, thank God Jerry decided to take a chance on this crazy person he’d never met, and instead of hanging up said, “Well...sure. Ok!”
I followed his directions and half an hour later was pulling up on a dark street directed by the waving arms of a shadowy figure on the sidewalk. Whom I hoped was Jerry.
In short order I was sitting in his living room (Jerry's, not some random guy off the sidewalk) having a glass of red wine while he heated up homemade chicken soup. What an odd and amazing turn of events!
Even more amazing is that Jerry, after taking a psych course in college which examined altered states of consciousness, experimented with self-hypnosis and found that he was able to use it to successfully deal with the high-stress he was going through as he put himself through college while maintaining good grades and playing college football.
Jerry continued to use self-hypnosis as a tool throughout his life.
He became a college and highschool teacher, teaching subjects such as psychology, sociology, and history. He thrived on working with the tough cases, the hard-ass students who defied authority and pushed limits, often using cognitive-behavioural and hypnosis techniques with both his students and himself to diffuse angry situations. Jerry noticed that the largest issue with these students was their inability to effectively communicate and solve problems with peers and teachers. So he pioneered a course on peer communication which taught effective communication strategies to teenagers through role play. This course helped hundreds of difficult students become calmer, more effective communicators and problem solvers in the 10 years Jerry taught it before his retirement. Students would come back to him years later, remembering both him and the class with fondness.
When Jerry retired from teaching, he decided to use his expertise in psychology, the brain, and hypnosis to help others. He works on a referral basis only, counseling part-time out of his house in Arroyo Grande.
As we chatted about our lives over dinner, and then over a gourmet breakfast the next morning (omelets with fresh avocado, tomato, and curry!), I would have known Jerry had a background in psychology and counseling even if he hadn’t told me. Most strangers I chat with don’t pepper the discussion with phrases like, “How did that affect you?”, “What exactly do you think stress IS?”, “How was that experience different or the same for you?”, “And how have you changed because of that?”.
Jerry’s explanation of how he uses hypnosis focuses on the science of the brain, cognitive behavioural therapy, and replacing negative beliefs with more positive actions. His daily approach to life involves focusing less on feelings and more on the responses we can choose. Like Pascal’s belief that faith will come once you get down on your knees, Jerry believes that our actions influence our emotions. Instead of processing the reasons behind something, he believes in choosing how we want to react. Hypnosis, like meditation, helps our brain quiet and focus enough to make wiser choices about how we WANT to react in a given situation, without our emotions and chatter-brain getting in the way. At least that’s the basic idea I came away with.
What a different approach from my own recent focus, based on books like Gabor Mate’s “When the Body Says No”, about the importance of really FEELING and experiencing one’s emotions instead of pushing them under the rug…about being present in the moment, and experiencing what the feeling that IS without the need to change it.
And yet maybe not so different. Like a post I recently read on dualism so wonderfully stated: “limiting ourselves to one answer means we often stop seeing what's actually there. What if both things are true?” (Martha Beck on dualism)
Perhaps those seemingly different ways of dealing with oneself are complimentary. Perhaps they are both true. Perhaps we need to let go of processing WHY and HOW, try things out, and just let what works work.
On a previous internet search I had come across a website called Boondockers Welcome. Boondocking refers to parking your RV somewhere and sleeping in it without having to pay anything. Boondocking frequently happens at rest stops, truck stops, Walmart parking lots, BLM land (Bureau of Land Management forests where you can camp for free if you can find an appropriate spot that fulfills their requirements), National Forests, and sometimes sidestreets if there’s a spot where an RV can park unobtrusively. The website, which is quite brilliant, is similar to couch surfing, except it involves RV boondocker people saying ‘hey, I live in this city and you can come park and sleep in my driveway.’ Unfortunately, in order to post a reply, you must sign up and pay a yearly fee (everyone’s got to make money I guess).
I had bookmarked the site, so, on a whim and starting to get desperate, started scrolling through the map. There was someone listed at a town nearby, and when I clicked on his profile, I discovered that...he had posted his phone number! Jerry Sanger, in Arroso Grande. Well, what did I have to lose? Using a coffee shop’s wifi and an internet free phone app, I called the number. After 2 rings, a voice said “Jerry Sanger”.
“Uh, hi Jerry…I saw your number on the boondocker’s website. I’m on a road trip, sleeping in a camperized van, and I have no place to sleep tonight. I’m currently in Morro Bay, a half hour north of you. Do you think it would be possible for me to park and sleep in your driveway tonight?”
Well, thank God Jerry decided to take a chance on this crazy person he’d never met, and instead of hanging up said, “Well...sure. Ok!”
I followed his directions and half an hour later was pulling up on a dark street directed by the waving arms of a shadowy figure on the sidewalk. Whom I hoped was Jerry.
In short order I was sitting in his living room (Jerry's, not some random guy off the sidewalk) having a glass of red wine while he heated up homemade chicken soup. What an odd and amazing turn of events!
Even more amazing is that Jerry, after taking a psych course in college which examined altered states of consciousness, experimented with self-hypnosis and found that he was able to use it to successfully deal with the high-stress he was going through as he put himself through college while maintaining good grades and playing college football.
Jerry continued to use self-hypnosis as a tool throughout his life.
He became a college and highschool teacher, teaching subjects such as psychology, sociology, and history. He thrived on working with the tough cases, the hard-ass students who defied authority and pushed limits, often using cognitive-behavioural and hypnosis techniques with both his students and himself to diffuse angry situations. Jerry noticed that the largest issue with these students was their inability to effectively communicate and solve problems with peers and teachers. So he pioneered a course on peer communication which taught effective communication strategies to teenagers through role play. This course helped hundreds of difficult students become calmer, more effective communicators and problem solvers in the 10 years Jerry taught it before his retirement. Students would come back to him years later, remembering both him and the class with fondness.
When Jerry retired from teaching, he decided to use his expertise in psychology, the brain, and hypnosis to help others. He works on a referral basis only, counseling part-time out of his house in Arroyo Grande.
As we chatted about our lives over dinner, and then over a gourmet breakfast the next morning (omelets with fresh avocado, tomato, and curry!), I would have known Jerry had a background in psychology and counseling even if he hadn’t told me. Most strangers I chat with don’t pepper the discussion with phrases like, “How did that affect you?”, “What exactly do you think stress IS?”, “How was that experience different or the same for you?”, “And how have you changed because of that?”.
Jerry’s explanation of how he uses hypnosis focuses on the science of the brain, cognitive behavioural therapy, and replacing negative beliefs with more positive actions. His daily approach to life involves focusing less on feelings and more on the responses we can choose. Like Pascal’s belief that faith will come once you get down on your knees, Jerry believes that our actions influence our emotions. Instead of processing the reasons behind something, he believes in choosing how we want to react. Hypnosis, like meditation, helps our brain quiet and focus enough to make wiser choices about how we WANT to react in a given situation, without our emotions and chatter-brain getting in the way. At least that’s the basic idea I came away with.
What a different approach from my own recent focus, based on books like Gabor Mate’s “When the Body Says No”, about the importance of really FEELING and experiencing one’s emotions instead of pushing them under the rug…about being present in the moment, and experiencing what the feeling that IS without the need to change it.
And yet maybe not so different. Like a post I recently read on dualism so wonderfully stated: “limiting ourselves to one answer means we often stop seeing what's actually there. What if both things are true?” (Martha Beck on dualism)
Perhaps those seemingly different ways of dealing with oneself are complimentary. Perhaps they are both true. Perhaps we need to let go of processing WHY and HOW, try things out, and just let what works work.